Bear with me as I try to write this week’s On the Porch. It’s hard to type when you can’t stop laughing — when you’re trying to drink a cup of milk but it runs out of your nostrils.

For months now anticipation had been building for the Iowa Caucuses. It’s the first vote in the nation every four years that determines the early front-runner as we prepare to elect a president. Candidates have been spending millions of dollars in advertising hoping to punch their ticket to stay in the race through New Hampshire. 

Democratic candidates have been trudging through the miserable Iowa snows for months begging for votes and hoping to get the chance to beat Donald J. Trump in November.

Remember that during this same period, Democrats have accused Republicans of destroying our elections. They’ve accused our Gov. Brian Kemp of stealing the race from Stacey Abrams last year, even though he won by 50,000 votes. They’re still trying to remove Trump from office saying he colluded with the Russians— or maybe it was the Ukrainians (it’s hard to keep up), to steal the 2016 election.

But this week’s Iowa Caucus fiasco shows that the ones stealing elections are the Democrats, and they’re stealing it from their own voters.

Things got suspicious on Sunday night, when the Des Moines Register announced that their much-anticipated Caucus-eve poll would not be released this year. For Iowans and for political junkies, this is like announcing that Christmas Eve was cancelled. It’s unprecedented. No, said the Register, we learned that one candidate’s name (South Bend, Ind. mayor Pete Buttigieg) was left off for one person who was polled. Therefore, said the Register, we are canning the entire project.

The betting was that in fact the Register was trying to cover up the fact the Grandpa Joe Biden, the Democrat favorite, was tanking in the polls amidst a surge by socialist Bernie Sanders. They were trying to help drag Biden across the finish line.

It was one thing for the liberals to deep six a poll. But it got weirder on Tuesday night when the Iowa Democrat Party refused to release the results of the caucus. They blamed an app that the Democrats had purchased to compile caucus results.

The result was complete chaos. Buttigieg gave a victory speech saying that he had won, even though there was no evidence.

Biden threatened to file a lawsuit to prevent the release of the results, which shows the confidence of a front-runner. LOL. It was hard to believe a candidate like Biden, who called one voter fat and told another that he understood why his wife left him, was falling so fast. 

Meanwhile liberal commentator Chris Matthews sighed that none of the Democrats could beat Trump anyway.

Anyway, as we go to press, we still don’t have results from the Iowa Caucus. The Democrats are looking in hay barns and under snow drifts for more ballots for Grandpa Joe.

When Donald Trump, the former Democrat, was elected, Democrats had a choice. My fear was that they would work with Trump, and pull him to the left for more spending and government. Instead they went all in as The Resistance, seeking to “impeach the m----- f-----”, as one of them said, at all costs.

As someone who wasn’t an early Trump supporter, I have learned that the president has the incredible ability of bringing out the worst in his opponents. He has exposed the media as hopelessly corrupt and partisan. He has exposed the federal bureaucracy as a permanent elite trying to veto our elections. And now he has exposed Democrats as incompetent and unhinged lunatics. I, for one, am enjoying every moment.